I know, I know its Sunday. Where is my post about Friday? Well, Wednesday I did not replace my estradiol patch. Unfortunately the effects are not immediate. I started having issues on Friday and Saturday was horrid. Today I’m writing up Day 4 my TMS.
It was a pretty decent day to begin with, I had a cold and felt a little cruddy from the hormones, but it was all manageable at that point. I got to meet a friend for lunch, which we try to do once a week. Going into my appointment I was pretty positive. The Tech I had from Wednesday was there on Friday. She’s another really nice person, easy to work with and talk to. She was so happy there was sun because that meant she could mow her lawn this weekend and defeat her weeds. I commented about growing up in Arkansas and how I hate mowing lawns! Haha! Plus I have a black thumb anyways. I got set up easily, takes only a minute or two now, got my Supernatural going on the iPad, while she was getting the coil set up on the right side. No sensitivity! We started at 105% and moved up to 110% on the right side by the end of the session so I’m at full strength on the right side now which they were impressed with that I was able to get there so quickly.
We also discussed if I was noticing any improvement in my mood and anxiety. I could notice a difference in the first few hours but felt cautious in thinking it was real. Like maybe it was just that I felt hopeful. She reassured me that it could be real, even this early, but that we couldn’t really tell until we were at full strength for a couple weeks.
Before I knew it it was time to switch to the left side. A little sensitivity but not too much. No real pain. My head was hurting but I had a cold and my hormones we’re a mess. The left side we also got to 110% on Friday. I’m scheduled to get up to 120% on Monday.
I left Friday feeling better, more clear headed, my mind was not racing from worry to worry, anxiety to anxiety. I felt like I was breathing. After that I got a 90 minute massage, which cemented in that feeling for the rest of the evening.
I knew that Saturday I would wake up, my hormonal fluctuations would be at their worst, my mood would bounce all over the place and my anxiety would sky rocket and my mind would cloud over. I knew though that there was hope. That even if the TMS did not fully work, did not stay with me for long, that my life could change with enough work on my part and of those in my support system. I’m not talking about perfect, I’m not talking about “normal”, I’m talking about being functional, not living in fear every day, and maybe, just maybe a little happy on most days.
Those who are reading my story, thank you. You mean so much to me!